Thursday, August 21, 2008

Baiting Bears

(Puzzle piece number 18 of 38.)
Hiking with my buddy one morning, we noticed particular people’s garbage had been strewn onto streets in our neighborhood. As you know, there can be only three reasons this would occur.

One, a person is concerned about their neighbor and seeks to ascertain if he is eating nutritiously. So the person peruses the leftovers, leaves a mess, and, perhaps, a healthy meal on the porch.

Two, a neighbor is searching for treasures. You know the saying: One man’s junk…

Three, the person is intentionally or unintentionally baiting bears.

I’d guess the latter.

Now, it’s possible that a person must leave early for work and bears are still foraging. It’s also possible that silly gooses set their garbage out the night before pickup day. I’d like to cook those “gooses.” Garbage strewn looks bad, spreads disease, makes sanitation workers have to pick up some of the mess, and leads me to carry a bag and wear latex on my morning hikes—and I’m not talking condoms.

Bears don’t like stopping by my place—not enough meat, and by now my ex-boyfriend has disintegrated. I’ve been primarily a vegetarian since I was 18, which was, hmm, 16 years ago. Even when I toss my veggie scraps in the compost heap, the bears just poop and leave. I have yet to see my second bear, while most of my neighbors see them looking into their windows, hopping onto their cars, strolling through their yards, and bringing their cubs by to visit the lady who feeds the deer.

It’s just not fair! All I get to see are its spillovers, but I’m awaiting…with bated breath!

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