Wednesday, September 17, 2008

All Men Are Dumb

My best girlfriend at UW-Eau Claire shared a house with four other girls. I had the privilege of being included in a lot of their fun, thank goodness, or I’d have had a pretty boring college life.

When time would permit, or the need was severe, we’d go to the bars on Water Street to have a beer or two—except my girlfriend, who remains one of the most innocent, best Christians on earth. Why she ever chose me as a friend is a mystery, but I thank God she did.

When she and her roomies would see a cute guy, they would say, “Ooo, that guy over there has nice shoes!” And if, after talking with a guy, he was not only good-looking but intelligent too, they’d say, “Wow! He has great shoelaces!”

I wonder what they’d have said if the guy were barefoot. Might have to go up the leg a bit.

In their house, the girls hung a sign that read: All men are dumb. As I’ve grown older, I have my own ideas about that statement. But I wanted to know what those college girls meant, so I jotted my sweet friend a note. Here is an excerpt from her reply:

“When we said, ‘All men are dumb,’ it…referred to dating-type situations. The guys always seemed to have a knack for doing the opposite of what you needed at the time. They couldn't see the obvious!”

Then she shared how one young man seemed interested in her roommate, until one day the guy asked for her best friend’s phone number. A social zero. A nincompoop.

“In other words,” my friend continued, “all men are dumb. They just don't get it. They should be able to understand better how to relate to women. They should be more intuitive and should learn from experience. Somehow, they don't. And they keep disappointing women, most of the time without even being aware of it!

“This happened on a regular basis in our apartment. We would just shake our heads and point to the sign.”

If this happened with college-age guys, why does it pertain to today’s forty-, fifty-, sixty-, and seventy-year-old men? Men still use the same lines too.

“You’re different than other girls.” [Aren’t we all?]
“I’m different than other guys.” [Yes, you think you are.]
“I’ve never felt this way before.” [There’s sure to be a cure someday.]
“I really love you.” [Well, of course!]
“You’re the most intelligent woman I’ve ever met.” [’Been out much?]
“You have a hot tub?” [Tonight it’s a one-seater.]

Ah, let’s give men a chance. Maybe gals need to move past men’s words and glide directly into their meanings. But maybe guys need new lines, such as:

“Would you like to come over and smell my herbs?”
“May I please mow your lawn?”
“How about if we go out to dinner tonight. You look fabulous!”
“I love communicating with you.”
“I won’t try to fix anything unless you ask me to. Just let me listen.”

Then watch the amazed gal fall sweetly into the dumb guy’s arms. What a catch!

I look forward to any clever retorts! Soon, my best guy friend’s perspective.

copyright © 2008 by Auntie Eartha. All rights reserved.

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  1. There are guys who say the things you want. Unfortunately for you they're all gay!

    It's strange that woman want men to be better communicators, but then expect them to be mind readers as well because women often don't verbally communicate instead relying on subtle physical signals.

  2. I have been in those bars on Water street, that was about 60 years ago. Back then girls we not going to bars like they do these days, even older women didn't hang out in those places much. We didn't have nearly as many problems talking or listening to girls then. Oh for the
    Good old days again.

  3. I agree about the good ol' days. Even those who didn't experience them might want a more polite and safer place to live than the way things are today.
    Thank you for writing : )


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