Monday, December 3, 2007


People trust me. I have always held their secrets deep within me to the point that I CRS, I can’t remember something. But I didn’t start out that way. Why do so many of us have to learn from our own mistakes?

As time goes on, though, I’m learning from OPM—other people’s mistakes—as my MO—mental objective.

I was four and home alone while my parents were at work. Looking back, I can only imagine that they hoped a prisoner would escape from the nearby jail and borrow me.

It was the Friday before Mother’s Day, and Dad came home from lunch carrying a sewing machine encased in a simply designed cabinet whose top flipped open to use as a sewing surface. As he carried the machine downstairs to hide it, he said numerous times not to tell Mom about this surprise. He said most things numerous times, as if he liked hearing himself…or perhaps he couldn’t remember that he’d just said something.

Anyway, Mom came home from work before Dad, and in my snitchy excitement, I squealed, “You have to come downstairs! Come quick!” And she made her discovery. Though a sewing machine could be seen in the same vein as a blender or a mixer or a package of sanitary napkins to some women, Mom actually seemed pleased with the gift.

When Dad got home to surprise her (too late, Daddio!), Mom acted as if seeing the sewing machine was as exciting as finding a new boyfriend. And they were happy for a moment.

Dad brought the machine upstairs, and eventually, Mom began to sew, which was like a nine-year-old using a backhoe—the world would have been a safer place had she left the machine in the basement.

One of her first attempts at seamstress wizardry was producing PJs for Dad. At the time, Dad was in great shape and not yet given to overindulgence, he led us to believe. So when Mom presented his new pajamas to him, he asked whom they were for, since they were three times his size. Eventually, all that PJ fabric was regurgitated into more fodder for hysteria.

It’s too bad Dad didn’t keep those jammies. They’d fit him perfectly today.

The “morsels” of the story: Keep secrets so they really are secret. Have integrity. And exercise, even if it’s a walk around the block or lifting something heavy for a few reps, like jugs.

copyright © 2007 by Auntie Eartha. All rights reserved.

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  1. I feel like a slow-movin' cold front; on the fourth of July. And if it ain't beer, what could it be? Would it still be warmer than the look in her eye?

    Life is full of surprises, ain't it, Auntie? This is a nice one for me. Good job. I knew you was an editor; but I didn't know you could write, too.

  2. Another great story...what about unjust secrets? Do you have a story to share? Keeping a secret about a friend's or relatives' indiscretion? Today we are told to mind our own business/keep things to ourselves to the extreme. Where is our integrity then?

    Thank you for your stories.


Tell me what you believe.