Minnesota Nice

Flying low on a two-lane highway that connects a succession of small farming towns, I looked up from reading CD covers in the passenger seat, saw 25 mph, and heard, “Crap!”

Oh geez.

The sheriff approached my new husband’s car from behind as Tom rolled down his window. 

“You were goin’ a little fast there,” the sheriff observed. “What brings yeh tö MinnesOta?” he asked, brandishing a chubby, friendly smile.

Always nervous about what might fly out of Tom’s Irish, drinking mouth, I leaned forward, securing eye contact with the sheriff, and answered, “We’re on our honeymoon! In fact, yesterday we visited the folks who bought my family’s farm in Montevideo, where I grew up, and now we’re on our way to St. Paul to visit my friend whose husband is a cop,” I said and nodded reassuringly.

“Congratulations,” Sheriff Keith said, smiling and nodding in return. Staying on course, he refocused on the driver, never losing momentum. “Have you had any citations? Or is your record clean?”

“No, it’s clean,” I heard, as Tom handed over his license and I prayed, since Tom has a habit of stretching more than his gut. 

“Thank you,” Sheriff Keith said. “I’ll be back in a bit,” and strolled to his car.

“How fast were you going?” I asked.

“Fifty, maybe sixty.” Only double or more the posted limit. Oh boy.

Apprehensively, I shuffled CDs around, tidied my two cubic feet of small-car space, and waited, all the while wondering how Tom would look in orange and if we still had cash left after our over-the-top-for-old-farts wedding.

A shadow moved toward the car. “Well, it looks like everything checks out fine,” Sheriff Keith confirmed. “So you said you were headed to St. Paul? Gee, you’re gonna be runnin’ into quite a detour, so just remember to keep your speed down and enjoy the country.”

As late would have it, the primary highway, US-12, leading from Willmar into the Cities was blocked for construction—all two and-a-half-hours’ worth, so we kicked our plans down a gear, texted Katharina to say we’d be late by who knows how long, and enjoyed the green, green grass of home.