Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Embarrassed or Pleased

I don’t know if I should feel embarrassed or pleased.

Gee, as I wrote that statement I realized it could apply to several things, such as “I should feel embarrassed that I passed wind in public. I’m just pleased it was only wind.” Or, “I’m embarrassed that I forgot about the dog and left him inside all day, but I’m pleased that he ate the burglar.” Or, “I’m embarrassed that I haven’t had a boyfriend in five years, but I’m pleased that I don’t have chunks of broken heart messing up my home.”

I’m sure you could add a few for us out here in Blogistan.

Well, I’m embarrassed that, after taking my daughter to school at 7:15 a.m., I crawled back into bed, but I’m pleased that I’m feeling better. During the past four days I have worked this old body too hard and, as usual, I haven’t eaten enough, being particularly scarce on salads. And early last night, while my intent was to magically disappear between my sheets after partially dissolving in the hot tub, I stayed up, read, and helped my daughter study so she wouldn’t have to be alone. When my head finally hit the pillow and prayers were said, the hammer fairy laid a strong one on my head, and it was lights out.

When 5:58 a.m. struck me equally hard, the black bears on my flannel sheets held me firmly around the middle. They even put their black paws over my eyes, testing my strength. I struggled and they fought back, and at last I broke free and fell off my mattress. But I didn’t make my bed.

Making breakfast for my daughter has been easy the past two weeks because she hasn’t wanted eggs but, instead, cereal. So I set out her placemat, bowl, utensil, and napkin, then took out the recycling, garbage, and dog. When I came inside she said, “I thought you were going to make me eggs.”

“Oh yeah,” I breathed, vaguely remembering my "you should have a good breakfast" suggestion before taking her AP test.

Back home I vacillated: Should I? or would I feel guilty? Recalling that I am neither Catholic nor a full-fledged Jew, I succumbed and fed my body to the bears.

Forty minutes later, a transmogrified person arose from my bed. I must say, she’s quite pleasant compared with her exhausted twin sister. Grrrrr.

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