Wednesday, February 11, 2009

Whoa, Bessie!

Mom was a model when she was in her teens. So were her two sisters—cute little French girls with large breasts, tiny waists, and small hips. The kind you don’t want to stand next to.

She thought I’d turn out cute and be a model too, so she had the Inoculator shoot one of my vaccines way underneath my upper arm so it wouldn’t be visible during photo shoots. Turns out she didn’t have to worry about that.

Being a model, Mom dressed herself beautifully and expensively, except for that ugly powder blue and black strapless, one-piece bathing suit. We were living in Minnesota, where Dad was the branch manager for a loan company (the kind where you could get a loan at 20 percent interest or for your firstborn), and Mom ran the appliance department for Northern States Power.

One rare, warm day while I visited friends, Mom and Dad drove out to our land, jumped on our horses, and rode around the ranch.

Dad rode Lucky, his Arabian–quarter horse, and Mom took Red, my graceful, five-gaited American saddlebred. As always, they rode the fence line, checking for loose wire and anything needing repair.

They then rode up our hill, where we intended to build a home “some day.” Once atop the ridge, they rode freely without obstruction. Dad led as he coaxed Lucky into a lope.

At one point, wondering if Mom was following, Dad turned his head and looked behind him. Then did a double take.

Mom’s strapless bathing suit became a birthday suit that hadn’t held up to the rigors of a canter. She was a model of sheer freedom.

copyright © 2009 by Auntie Eartha. All rights reserved.

If you like it, link it!
http://auntieeartha.blogspot.com/2009/02/whoa-bessie.html

Wednesday, February 4, 2009

Filters

Just because I’m a hard worker doesn’t mean my furnace has to be, except when it’s colder outside than my ex-lover’s heart.

Vacuuming in the laundry room, I decided to check the furnace filter, even though it had only been in place for three and a half months. When I pulled it out, I was shocked! It was a thick, deep gray, like my mood when the dog wakes me up in the middle of the night. It looked as if the cat was stuck to the filter, but I think it was kitty litter dirt.

The kitty litter box, in which I pour the cheapest clay litter, sits right next to the furnace. With both cats in the house at night rather than in the garage during this frigid winter, and the scratching they do to propel the clay, well, dust has to fly, like a dog digging a hole for his bone.

Tips: Make sure you know the air-flow direction on your furnace. I found filters at Home Depot to be less expensive than at my favorite grocery store. And don’t forget to change all your other filters: air purifier, vehicle’s air and oil filters, and your people filter.

And, friends, if you must smoke, use filters. No, please don’t smoke—someone loves you. Honest.

copyright © 2009 by Auntie Eartha. All rights reserved.

If you like it, link it!
http://auntieeartha.blogspot.com/2009/02/filters.html

Monday, February 2, 2009

Eccentricities

I’ve had dogs, which is sort of like crabs, but more visible. That’s why I make sticky rolls!

Yep! Since about 1988, I’ve been buying two-inch-wide masking tape, peeling off eight inches, and making rolls of the strips. I put them in handy places, ready to adhere to hair from any animal, including my daughter!

They’re stuck to the bathroom cabinet door ready to tape the hair from our clothes, under a couple of my kitchen cupboards, in the car, by the dryer, in all our clothes closets, near our beds, in any obscure, concealed place. It makes animals much less visible on your clothes, furniture, car seats, you name it. I’ve even taped the cat.

Nuts? Hey, I’m ready, fur ball.

copyright © 2009 by Auntie Eartha. All rights reserved.

If you like it, link it!
http://auntieeartha.blogspot.com/2009/02/eccentricities.html

Sunday, February 1, 2009

I’m a Repubrat

This little auntie doesn’t like to get political, but as I’m listening to the Eagles sing about war and peace, I’m reminded of something a friend told me last year. “More Democrats have taken us into war than Republicans.” Another Democrat friend recently added, “And more Republicans have gotten us out of those wars.”

Not one to take words spoken to me for granted, this journalist takes to research. Sure enough, America has lost 200,000 more lives in war under Democrat leadership than Republicans (650,000 vs. 450,000). Our founding fathers lost 5,600. See two of the many links below. I’m open to discussion and clarification if these approximate numbers are off.

We have short memories when we don’t read our history books, but our grandparents might have been able to enlighten us on times of war. I’m primarily a Republican who abhors war; however, if someone were to threaten or hurt my daughter, I would have no problem declaring war of an appropriate sort. Think genitals.

We all have wars. They take on varying forms: divorce, custody battles, insurance companies not covering charges, speaking truth to dishonest judges, teachers not being fair, contracts and promises not being kept. Conflict of any kind stresses me out.

I am also not in favor of overpopulation, which Republicans appear to condone, because it’s killing more than people, such as fauna, flora, air quality, water quality, peace, quality of life.

The fact is, I appear to Republicans to be a Democrat. Maybe I’m both.

I am a Repubrat.* I have never fit into any box or category in intelligence and personality tests, nor do I in the political arena. They tell me I’m balanced, and you know, I feel balanced. I believe it’s okay to have opinions, beliefs, and values—and stand up for them! Be a blend like many humans. It’s fine not to live categorized (she says when the United States Census is calculating again).

Just because you’re a Christian, doesn’t make you a Republican.
Just because you’re an environmentalist, doesn’t mean you’re a Democrat.
Just because you believe abortion is okay, doesn’t mean you believe overpopulation is bad.
Just because you don’t believe in abortion and like to have lots of kids, doesn’t make you a Republican.
Just because you’re gay, doesn’t mean you’re a Democrat. Well, I’d better ask my gay friends about that point.

I like Barack Obama, very much. After listening to his audio book The Audacity of Hope, I remarked, “If I were to choose a husband, he would be like Obama.”

And though I didn’t vote for him, he is my president as long as I’m an American, no matter what my party affiliation, and will stand by him—something a lot of Americans didn’t do with Bush. Even I am guilty of that. Today I feel bad about some of the things I said—sometimes it’s better to be silent. I don’t know the whole story and will never.

When our kids mess up, we don’t disown them if we’re good parents.

And when Barack Obama messes up—which he will, they all do—I will stand behind him, because we the people of the United States elected him to be our commander in chief, our leader, our president.

* Now, friends, please don’t confuse this with reprobate: an unprincipled person (often used humorously or affectionately).

(Puzzle piece number 32 of 38.)

copyright © 2009 by Auntie Eartha. All rights reserved.

If you like it, link it!
http://auntieeartha.blogspot.com/2009/02/im-repubrat.html

http://retiary.org/misc_pages/us_presidents_and_wars.html
http://www.mapsofwar.com/ind/american-wars.html